Darkness Is Me
by outerelf
Summary: The Otherworld searched for him just as desperately as he searched for it. After all, he was part of it.


Darkness. Purgatory. He slid a hand against the wall, wishing that he could merge with it fully and be free. Eyes- no optics- dimmed in hatred of the form he was currently trapped in. None feared this form, nor did it feel delightfully twisted like it should of. Instead it was simply… there. Something he had to put up with.

A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned close to the wall. He didn't think anyone would come and interrupt him– after all, he made every, single, last one of them nervous in some way or another. Except for a few, but those who weren't nervous were pure.

They still could visit his hometown, but they wouldn't be able to see him.

He could feel the Otherworld deep inside of him stir, reaching out to the wall, wanting to twist him, to become part of it. He stopped himself from merging with the wall, knowing that he wouldn't be able to anyway.

The Otherworld was not strong enough.

That was the deep, underlying problem: the Otherworld was not strong enough. He knew of several mechs he would love to bring to the Otherworld, force them to face their deepest, darkest fears, and all of the smaller ones. Eventually they would either break– or come out accepting themselves.

"Hey! Red! What are you doing here?" The fire truck's words died in his vocalizer as the mech turned to look at him. His optics were the same icy blue that they always were, but there were darker shadows drifting among them. Dark shadows that, for a split second, terrified the large, red mech, making him flinch back.

The next moment, the shadows were gone, and he was left wondering if they had ever been there. "I was simply doing a sweep of the security systems." Red Alert said coolly, his voice like a frozen wind, or an icy tomb.

"Oh…alright Red…" The fire truck shook himself visibly, and offered up a hesitant smile. "I'll see ya around then."

"Yes, Inferno." He watched as the fire truck left, feeding off of the confused fear that still lingered in the air after him.

Or maybe it was perhaps his fear. Fear that he might be forced to stay in this misbegotten, unwelcome form forever. Fear that he would never be able to go back to the Otherworld. Fear that never again he would have the chance to reach a clammy, grasping hand out to the mechs, humans, and whatever else might be caught in their trap _that_ time.

Trap? No, trap was… too nice. Entire towns had fallen prey to them, the people within too easily broken by their inner fears and inner thoughts. His hand slid against the wall, fingers searching for any mar upon the smooth surface.

The Otherworld stirred again, deep within him, trying to reach out and drag him back where he belonged. His optics dimmed in pain at the feeling. So badly, ever so badly, he wanted to go back, but it was impossible. It couldn't bring him back where he belonged because he was too far away.

Teeth gritted in pain, his optics switched to the door he was currently stalking. Inside, he could hear a happy hum, and knew exactly whom it was coming from.

The microscope/tank triple-changer and the engineer.

He was certain the two were the key to getting back home. The triple-changer was too detached, had too many horrible, unspeakable moments in his past for the Otherworld to pass him up and let him go. The engineer was the perfect channel for the Otherworld to work through- he was completely without clue and the many instruments he made could potentially open a rift to the Otherworld.

No need for the Fog world. Just straight to the Otherworld. A smile curved his face, as he heard an excited voice drift out. Maybe this time? Maybe he would finally get out of here?

Eagerly, he pressed himself against the wall, listening carefully as the two talked. His entire body quivered in anticipation and hope. Would it-?

_NO!_ His CPU wailed.

A sigh escaped him as the machine didn't explode and the two scientists chattered excitedly on how well it was working. Yet another failure. A low, frustrated growl threatened to break out of his vocalizer, and he stalked away.

Darkness fell like a mantle around him, as the lights flickered and went off. A stirring that he remembered all too well came from somewhere deep within him. He could feel it, a marked stirring, as the Otherworld actually managed to lay a few of its cold, cruel tendrils upon him.

A smile split his usually stern face, as he felt himself being taken back-!

The lights flickered on, and the Otherworld fled from the light. This time he couldn't help himself. He let out a loud, angry howl about killing the mech who had just done that.

Inside the room, he could hear the triple-changer and engineer flinch. He could imagine their optics going wide and the suddenly nervous looks they would give each other.

His hands clenched into helpless fists as he kicked at the helpless wall, fury boiling from within. _Not fair, not fair, not fair! I was so close! So close!_ He scream in his mind._ So close!!_

He turned around, and stormed back to the door he had just left, ready to tear apart the two helpless scientists. A flash of white interrupted his dangerously dark thoughts, as the medic interposed himself between the door and him. "Red Alert, calm down."

Words boiled in his vocalizer, as he glowered at the blue optics. He wished he dared to open his mouth, say the horrible, nasty things Ratchet had seen, and show him his deepest, darkest fears-!

The door slid open to reveal the innocent looking triple-changer and engineer. Both had slightly guilty looks on their faces, and carried the machine they had just tested out in one hand. "Sorry, Red Alert. Sorry Ratchet. We didn't think that it would cause the lights to go out-"

His mouth opened, about to tell them both to turn it on again, to see if the Otherworld would come back, before the medic interrupted. "Red, they said they were sorry. Now, c'mon you two, put that away for now, and come get some energon…"

Ratchet led the two scientists away before he had a chance to protest. He forcibly made his clenched and trembling hands relax as he took a deep breath. _Why? Why? Why can't I seem to get home?_ He thought desperately.

Panic filled him at the thought of having to spend the rest of his life in the form he currently resided. No changing, no turning, only… this.

_No, I won't accept that. There has to be some way to get back! I felt Wheeljack create a portal, I felt the Otherworld reach out to me! If they hadn't turned it off, then it might __have__ gotten us to the Otherworld…_

He chewed on his bottom lip, optics looking off into the distance, thinking quietly to himself. Maybe if he snuck into the rooms, grabbed the machine, and turn it on himself, would it work? Probably not. The Otherworld needed someone who would actually be able to see it. Wheeljack wasn't needed, but Perceptor was.

_How to get Perceptor alone and get him to flip on the machine?_

"Hey! Don't laugh at me! I'm being serious! A lot of mechs have been vanishing on the edges of battlefields, both Autobot and Decepticon! I'm telling you, something is out there!"

He stiffened as the minibot's voice intruded upon his thoughts, before his optics widened as the words registered. _Missing? Maybe- the Otherworld?_

"You're worrying too much, Cliffjumper. Think about it. If both Autobots and Decepticons are vanishing, then it's probably because they killed each other, and they just haven't found the bodies."

A soft, disbelieving snort arose from the minibot, as he grumbled softly over the things mechs wanted to believe and the lengths they went to believe it. "Yeah, yeah Cliffjumper. C'mon, I betchya anything Red is still lurking around this hallway, and I really don't want to talk to him right now."

Optics narrowed, and Red Alert squashed the impulse to go after them and talk to them, despite the fact that they quite clearly didn't want to talk to him. Instead, he turned around and walked back to the security room, deep in his own thoughts.

The Otherworld was looking for him, just as surely as he was looking for it. "Of course, the Otherworld never forgets about its minions. Never. I simply need to find some way of returning to it and maybe…I'll even bring along a gift."

A scary smile touched the corners of his mouth, and had anyone been watching, they would've been terrified by the twisted quality of the smile. Red Alert nodded to himself as he stepped within the confines of the security room, before glancing at the monitors.

His breath froze as the sight of Decepticons at the front door of the Ark caught his attention. Apparently the 'Cons had not only caught up to them- they were going to launch an attack.

The thought should've scared him, but instead it filled him with revengeful glee. This was the perfect, absolute _perfect_ timing. He had no doubt the Otherworld had urged them back here, to give him this perfect chance of using the thing Perceptor had created. All he had to do was pretend he didn't see them for a few moments longer, let them take control of the Arks doors, and then-

The fusion blaster echoed loudly across the Ark, and Red Alert flipped the alarms at the same moment. Instantly, mechs poured out into the hallways, filling them as they brought weapons up to point firmly down the hallway towards where the booming sound had originated.

Red Alert heard Prowl snapping orders, and he hurriedly began locking down the computers before a Decepticon could get to them. At last, the computer beeped, showing that they were done. He nodded, and escaped down the hallway where his monitors showed Perceptor and Wheeljack bent over their newest invention.

"Perceptor, Wheeljack, have you two altered the machine at all?" He demanded across the comm. link.

"No, we're about too-"

"Don't. I need you two to flip it on now."

"What? But, it'll suck all of the power out of the Ark-!"

"I know. That's exactly what we need right now. Just do it!"

There was a moment of silence, before Wheeljack said softly, "Alright, but I hope you know what you're doing."

"Trust me, Wheeljack, I know exactly what I'm doing." Red Alert didn't see the point in mentioning that just because he knew what he was doing didn't mean that he _cared_ about the consequences for the other mechs.

The lights dimmed, and went off. A thick, choking darkness fell, one that even Decepticons shivered at, looking around wildly. All in the Ark flinched as they felt something stir in the darkness.

All except the single, smiling, Red Alert.

His head tilted back, as his face-plate took on a dreamy look as the darkness, the fear that was the Otherworld, caressed him. He opened up both arms, and felt, more then saw, the world around him unexpectedly shift.

Foggy light surrounded him, as he glanced around. They were in the Fog World. Disappointing, but it was still good enough. His head tilted back to look up at Gygax- the Cybertronian equivalent of the humans' Silent Hill.

Behind him, he could hear muffled sounds from Autobots and Decepticons, both as they recognized the sign, and the supposedly beautiful city that lay beyond it. Megatron demanded harshly, "What's going on? What happened?"

Starscream shifted uneasily, as the two opposing factions stared at each other. Red Alert could feel the Otherworld beckoning to him, calling to him, attempting to bring him further in.

He didn't resist, walking calmly to the front gates. A hand descended upon his shoulder, and he found himself stopped by a worried Perceptor. "Red Alert, what's going on? Where are we? Did you know this was going to happen?"

"Perceptor?" Oh, right, his gift. To the Otherworld. "Come with me Perceptor. There isn't much time."

The triple changer looked around at the fogged world, before shaking his head. "No. I'm sticking with Ratchet and Wheeljack."

"Are you certain? They… I believe they are those who will be broken, unable to face what is here. It would be better for you to come with me."

That seemed to cement Perceptor's firm decision to remain in the Fog world. He shook his head firmly, as Red Alert stared for a few moments more. "Well then, Perceptor, you'll going to be coming to the Otherworld sooner or later. I'll give you a hint, because you'll be such a good gift. Find a radio. Listen to it closely."

Red Alert- or the thing that claimed he was Red Alert- looked deeper into the city. The Otherworld called softly, promising him his true form back. He smiled and strode into the fog.

Behind, he heard the confused milling of the two groups, as they attempted to figure out what to do.

It didn't matter. He was nearly home. He could feel the Otherworld, twisting and shaping him back to his true form. His body was growing darker; cracks forming within the armor, making it seem corroded. He began leaning forward as he walked.

The fog world melted away, giving way to the Otherworld. He didn't mind it however. He was still looking for the correct building-

There. A hospital. He moved towards it eagerly, before placing a hand on the wall. Instantly the Otherworld caught him, shoving him into the wall. He allowed himself to become one with the wall, felt all thought slipping away.

He was nothing more than the fear of never leaving, never being able to escape.

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_a/n: First things first. Anonfirefly, I dearly love you and thank you for beta-ing this fic. Can I give you the internet as a prize? Second thing I'd like to say, it's my first Silent Hill fic, so I hope it's creepy, and I hope you all enjoyed it._


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